Why Do Parents Worry Too Much About Their Children? – Sadhguru 

Why Do Parents Worry Too Much About Their Children?

SG: People are not stressed because they have children. This is not because of marriage. This is not because of B schools This is not because of employment. So Don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering. They are like that. They have practiced. Many have become veterans in suffering. Well, You should have this kind of freedom, is n't it so? Hmm? “Even if I go to hell, I will live well.” Why Do Parents Worry So Much About Their Children?

Questioner: Actually, many parents in India, they have tension about their child about fees, one lakh, two lakh, how should I pay this, then I will become a beggar, what shall I do? (Applause) Sadhguru: Hey, if you were a beggar, there would be no problem with one lakh, two lakh. Questioner: Then they have a peaceful life, the parents say the child, “I have a very beautiful life, enjoyment,” then after that, we think that how do they live happily because they have these many tensions about the child. That what do they do, how will they fall, why will they kick someone and all that? Then how do they still have a peaceful life, the parents? Sadhguru: Yes, yes, go on. 

Questioner: How do they still have enjoyment in their life, by having a tension still for the kid? Sadhguru: Some parents manage to forget about their children for some time. That gives them the respite. You are something! What’s your name? Participant: Sanjana. 

Why Do Parents Worry Too Much About Their Children?

Sadhguru: Sanjana? Sanjana, I want you to observe, not just your parents, just observe people around you. Just watch them carefully, because this’s all I did in my life when I was your age, simply observing everything, not saying a word about it. If you observe people, you will see today we are creating a world, toddler means they have, you know, the napkin problems. Adolescent means they have puberty problems. Middle age means it's a crisis. Old age, terrible! Tell me one stage of life that people are enjoying. Those who are poor, suffering because they are poor. Those who are rich, they are suffering the taxes. Those who are not educated, they are suffering because they are not educated. Put them to school - enormous suffering. That’s what they are saying, “Tension in the B-School.” And, those who are not married, they are suffering. Get them married… See, I did not say anything. 

They are saying it. No children are suffering. Give them children, constant suffering which you're saying. Tell me one damn thing that people are not suffering. Everything! So somebody comes out with the philosophy, “Life is suffering!” So somebody comes up with a solution, “It's all right to suffer. If you suffer a lot here, you will go to another place where everything is fantastic.” You’ve heard of heaven? Not been there, right? No, no heaven! Heaven is the most fantastic place. The reason why we suffer is, where everything is fantastic. But I’m asking, do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and messing it up? Hello? Sadhguru: Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and making a mess out of it? Just go out and see, I think it feels like heaven, the B-School. Maybe you’re making a mess out of it. Look at this planet - from outside the solar system - look at this planet, all the other planets and planet earth, does it look like heaven? 

Participants: Yes. Sadhguru: So, you already landed on heaven and making an absolute mess about it and you want to go to another heaven now because you made a mess out of this. So people are not stressed because they have children. They don’t have children, they are continuously miserable. Children came, little bit spurts of joy, rest is only crying about it. So this is not because of children, this is not because of marriage, this is not because of B-School, this is not because of employment. This is simply because human beings have not figured how to handle themselves. That’s all! Wherever you put them - something. 

You give them what you want, make them the king, they are miserable there also. Yes? Yes or no? People have become risen into a very high position, still miserable or no? So this is not because of any situation, definitely not because of a wonderful girl like you. They haven’t figured because of right from the day they went to kindergarten they were focused, “Who is first, who is second, who is first, who is second.” Hmm? Yesterday, I was at my school. After forty-five years I went back to my school, how does it feel, how do you think? So I went there and I was just telling them about my experience of school. When I went to school… You know these monthly marks card? When these marks card comes, when the teacher gives it to them, some look at it and they are strutting around because they are first, second, whatever. Some are sitting in one corner and crying because they are not happy with the numbers that they got. I never opened the marks card in my entire school. When they gave it to me, I took it and gave it to my father. He blew! I couldn’t understand why just this card? I never opened it and saw it because I thought this is a transaction between my teacher and him. 

I had no interest in it whatsoever, so I never bothered, but I always saw it. My father is a well-educated intelligent man, but it disturbed him. For three days, he blew like a volcano. Looking at this yellow card… They always gave a yellow-colored card. Still like that? So, I was wondering, three days volcanic experience is having. Why I am saying this is, we have set this kind of thing. We can’t change the entire system tomorrow morning, but we can change ourselves, how we handle this, isn’t it? Why is it so important that you have to be ahead of somebody? Why? Why is it so important? Is it not important your life should be beautiful? You must be joyful, you must be wonderful, you must explore your full potential, is this important or you want to be better than somebody sitting next to you? Well, if what’s sitting next to you is a piece of dung, you will be a little better dung Yes? That’s not how life should end up. So, don’t blame yourself for anybody’s suffering. 

They are like that. They’ve practiced. Many have become veterans in suffering because they are acclimatizing themselves to go to hell. Acclimatization process! They want to make themselves such suffering here, even if you drop them in hell, it’ll feel wonderful. You never blame yourself for somebody’s misery, okay? It's all right. What to do? It’s an individual choice. Yes or no? Outside people, what can we do? What can I do to you? I can create an easy situation or a difficult situation for you. Suffering is your business, isn’t it? Yes or no? Suffering is your business Either you can be a challenging child for your parents - I wish you will be - otherwise they will become like bisi bele bath. You must be a little challenging for them. So, whether they enjoy the challenge or suffer the challenge, is left to them. Am I…? It’s okay? 

Because what I see is it doesn’t matter how many arrangements you make, those who suffer, anyway suffer, isn’t it? Just see the western countries as an example. What everybody is dreaming of or what even people don’t dare to dream here, an average American citizen has. You think they are all bursting with joy? All the arrangements have been made. You think they are bursting in joy? No, misery! Forty-two percent of the population over forty-five is on, you know, psychiatric medication. So this is not a joy for sure. Even mental health is not being managed because just making external arrangements is not going to fix this life. It's very, very important that you make inner arrangements that even if they send you to hell, you will go joyfully. 

You’ve heard of Gautama the Buddha? Heard of Buddha? When everybody was talking about going to heaven, Gautama said, “What will I go and do in heaven because you say everything is wonderful there? What will I do there? Let me go to hell. Because you say everybody is suffering there, let me go and do something because anyway I cannot suffer. I made myself like this I cannot suffer, so let me go to hell.” Even now the Buddhist texts talk about Buddha being in the lower world. Well, you should have this kind of freedom, isn’t it so? “Even if I go to hell, I will live well. Nobody has to send me to heaven” (Applause)